British filmmaker and artist Derek Jarman paid £32,000 for Prospect Cottage, a humble fisherman’s shack perched on the stark yet striking shingle beach of Dungeness, Kent. In 1986, following his diagnosis with HIV, Jarman found solace and creative refuge in this secluded spot—its surroundings becoming a canvas for his artistic expression, most notably through the garden he lovingly tended. Jarman meticulously recorded his life in Dungeness in his diaries, later published—a touching chronicle that intertwines his journey with the garden and his personal battle with HIV. Jarman passed away five years after the entry that follows, leaving behind not only his artistic works but also the garden at Prospect Cottage, which is now open to the public.

The Diary Entry

Thursday 28

Sleepless night, tossed on the edge of oblivion. Woke shivering and damp with sweat, my eyes glued together.

I tried to warm myself, bustled around, tended the fires; but sadness hangs around me like these short and sunless days. The virus has displaced me—a refugee in my own conscience. I wander aimlessly. A picture, a note to myself, a chapter of a book half-understood, a song. The news—forgotten before the weather forecast.

Today it is too cold to walk in the garden—even the birds fail to turn up at their table, with the exception of one jittery magpie. The day passes in perpetual twilight, the shore as pale as bone under a frowning sky.

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Further Reading

Derek Jarman’s diaries have been posthumously published in two volumes:

• Modern Nature: Journals, 1989-1990 
• Smiling in Slow Motion: Journals, 1991-1994

Both books are poetic, amusing, profound, dark, and heartbreaking, and I cannot recommend them highly enough.

Also…

• Olivia Laing: ‘There’s no book I love more than Derek Jarman’s Modern Nature’ (Guardian)
• Julian Sands reads from Derek Jarman’s Journals (Vimeo)
• Derek Jarman at Wikipedia
• Photos of Jarman at the National Portrait Gallery